Don't try to solve people's problems

"Don't try too hard to solve people's own problems. Give advice, help, just be there, and be happy." - Thoughts kept

Sometimes I do try too hard, and frequently fail. It's like when women tell you about their problems but don't really want you to do anything, just listen. It feels really nice for someone to listen to you, I can tell now. I didn't know what it meant to "be there", a typical phrase about friendship. It's pretty simple, really. 

If someone wants to talk to you, listen; shut up and listen, try to see things from their perspective, it's what they really want (not exactly what they need, but I prefer to make people happy first, and help second). 

Sometimes they can't find you; visit them, send them a message, ask how things are going. This is also common advice about keeping in touch with you parents. You don't have to make compromises, you can say you "have to go" if you don't want to talk much, but keeping in touch once in a while can really brighten people's day.

When someone talks about their problems, you can give advice, but frequently it's optional. As I said, sometimes we just want someone to listen to us.

Finally, you can help, but only if they ask, or if they're ok with it. Helping when not asked to can go wrong in many ways. Best case scenario, you have exhausted yourself trying to help someone and it didn't work, or it did work but they don't care or notice that it was because of you. Worst case scenario, you made life harder for them, or for yourself.